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Jessie: "Hey, now my tapestry's gonna get you!"
Tyler: "It's a sword."
Jessie: "Angry tapestry!"

Jessie: "See, if you lose, you're like, 'It's okay, I was beat by the cross-dressing yo-yo nun. He's just confused about his sexuality.'"

Brian: "I didn't get to play this guy."
Jessie: "You should be glad you didn't get to play him. He's an angry pirate man."

Brian: "I'm not patronizing you. If I was gonna patronize you, I'd put, like, American flags all over you, sing the national anthem..."

Jessie: "It's like I'm getting my ass handed to me in tin foil. You know, like, from yesterday, here's your ass. I remember kicking it a lot."

Brian: "You can't talk, miss 'I died 50 billion times.'"
Jessie: "Yeah. 50 billion times. Actually, it was 49 billion times, thank you very much!!"

Casey: "Why'd it just sound like he said, 'Crap!'?"
Jessie: "Cause he did. This guy's got a big stick, and all he's got is a tapestry."

Jessie: "Come on, Mr. Dude."
Brian: "Mr. Dude is not his name. He does not appreciate being called that."
Jessie: "Well, I got a big stick. So he can just deal with it."

Brian: "Come on, and pass up a hat like that?"
Jessie: "I wouldn't call that a hat. It's more like, 'I'm masquerading as a dinosaur.'"

Jessie: "Don't make me turn bright colors!! I will!"