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Brian: "I got 4 1/2 hours of sleep last night. I'll sleep next month."

Student: "So i just double click and BOOM -- instant pleasure from violent icon -- absolute bliss."

Casey: "Rocks don't usually have heads. I've noticed that."

Written on compressed air can: "Blasts dust and dirt from your computer... and everything else!"

Fry's Employee 1: "How many feet does this [metal detector] reach?"
Employee 2: "One or two."
Employee 1: "Is that it?"
Employee 2: "He's probably looking for the six foot one."
Employee 1: "He says ten feet."
Employee 2: "What's he looking for, a dead body?"

Tyler: "She's still a militant vegan whether she eats meat or not."

IHOP Customer: "I'm all out of strawberries; I must be through."

Chris Taylor: "I can't stand for more than six minutes. Unless [I'm] really hot. I can stand here and talk to you guys for hours."

Chris Taylor: "I actually changed that to 'all sexes' -- I think we're up to four now."

Chris Taylor: "You wanted to make sure they had a lot of dough. We went a little overboard with Microsoft."