Illustrations

Boss: "They [Charlie's Angels] would drive like 100 miles to chase somebody, jump out, and their hair would be perfect. I drive from here to the bank and my hair is like a chia pet."

Alex: "Every time I see that Mormon Temple, my Scandanavian blood says, 'Raid and Pillage.'"

TA David Smith: "I am made up of butterflies, the sun revolves around me, and P or not-P."

Professor Barker: "You can't have a modern dance come out of your printer."

Jessie: "I want my drink to be so exotic there's like a little man dancing in it."

Jessie: "They just cut her open and pulled me out and I was like, 'Wassap?'"

Professor Green: "Until he was about 15, he wanted to be an owl when he grew up."

Alex F.:"You know what, Aaron? Bill Gates could buy a sandwich made of GOLD!"