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Tyler: "You can punch after you do that."
Brian: "Not if I get my ass kicked."
Tyler: "You have to punch before you get your ass kicked."

Jessie: "Oh... have a blue glowy ball. My gift to you."

Brian: "Oh, you're afraid, aren't you. You're afraid!"
Jessie, killing his character: "Not really."

Jessie: "Remember, you always kick my ass at Tekken."
Brian: "That's not true."
Jessie: "Yeah it is."
Brian: "Oh, yeah."

Jessie: "You know you want the sexy backstreet boy. But you can't have him. His hair is too cool for you!"

Jessie: "He's Charlie Sheen. You'd wanna be underneath Charlie Sheen."
Brian: "Umm.. no."

Jessie: "How do you know he doesn't love his father?"
Brian: "His father's got pointy frickin' eyebrows."
Jessie: "Yeah? Well he's got pointy frickin' hair!"

Mom: "I did not miss Oregon. I couldn't wait to get out of there. In fact, I got a speeding ticket when I was leaving."

Jessie: "My cat terrorizes villagers in South America."

Jessie: "Oh, y'know what, hush your mouth. Let's see you try to fight a guy who's made out of fire with a rock for a head!""