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Grant: "It's just like Disneyland, with the added fear of death."

Grant to Scott: "It's not that vehicle [an offroad vehicle] they're afraid of riding next to you in, it's the ambulance."

Casey: "You sound like a pig on crack."

Kate: "Dogs smell fear, you know."
Scott: "Dogs smell everything, Kate."

Coworker: "Me and Siri butted heads like lemmings."

Coworker: "The fake Parmesan Chicken is nature's way of saying 'Hi.'"

Boss: "I have so many features [in my cable and phone package] I don't know what all of them are!"

Alex: "You can't swim when your mouth is full of my foot."

Tyler: "Corrected in midair, look at that!"
Alex: "Yeah, midair to your pelvis!"

Alex: "Hey! Check out my new move! I turn my back to you and let you hit me! You weren't expecting that, were you?"