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Grant: "You can't fool us. We're scientists. It's still there!"
Tyler: "Yeah, that's what five years of college will get you."

Restaurant customer: "You know what this is?" (Taps companion's shoulder) "A volcano of money."

Mom: "It's awe-inspiring! You can put it in a sentence!"
Tyler: "You can put it in a sentence? Tell me more!"

Jessie: "[Leonardo da Vinci] was an architect, a scientist, but did he ever help his wife paint the house?!"

Jessie: "I knew I was sitting here not doing nothing for a reason."

Mom: "We are a weird bunch of people!!"

Mom: "I never saw a snake move that fast."
Dad: "You never saw me move that fast! You didn't know I could do that, did you?"

Casey: "My husband suggested that I learn ASP.NET, but I told him I didn't want to."
Coworker: "You would be opening up a whole can of wax."

"I'm gonna go 'Office Space' on this phone."

Coworker: "Wine is like toilet paper, you're always going to need it."