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"There's room for an OBGYN under that desk!"

"You don't mess with boxing writers."

Sean Astin: "How tall are you?"
Lindsay Davenport: "Almost 6-3."
Sean Astin: "You're an elf!"

Gamestop Employee: "I can't get back here and my potato wedges are freezing."

"It's like the Olympics of bagpipes."

Dennis Blair, comedian: "This is great -- I'm pissing you guys off in sections."

George Carlin: "That's one and a half minutes of laughs you fuckers haven't produced."

Audience member at George Carlin performance: "Oh my god. He did not just say half of the things he said."

"They're like the frat boys of the vampire community."

Dad: "So are you delivering cats or what?"