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Panelist: "In the darkness he couldn't tell whether it was a rat or a former Prime Minister."

Panelist 1: "The Kobey's Swapmeet."
Panelist 2: "And re-education camp."

Panelist: "A commercial would've been great when the BAR WAS OPEN."

Panelist: "Polyamorous is different from swingers. It's like the People's Front of Judea and the Judean People's Front."

Tyler: "People said I couldn't [learn Japanese], and they were right, but I did it anyway."

Jessie: "It sounds like puddles falling over... really tired puddles... shaved puzzles..."

Jessie: "[Vegans are a] Bunch of bastards who can digest dairy but choose not to."

Coworker 1: "I was wondering how she ended up in Spain, of all places."
Coworker 2: "Fly."

Alex: "[In Independence Day] There's an alien in a huge suit of armor. I'm gonna deck it! Hey! I'm Will Smith!!"

Tyler: "I bet La Jolla imports nails. From France or something."
Grant: "Sh-yeah, as if the French know how to make nails. You're thinking snails."