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Alex: "Panda vs. Accountant. It's anyone's game."

Alex: "Hey, I'm endangered, you know!"
Tyler: "Yeah, and you know why?"
Alex: "Cause I can't fight?"

Alex: "That wasn't a fight! That was a butchery!"
Tyler: "That was a mauling, as a proper panda should do."

Alex: "Why's your panda have a pouch full of carrots? Oh yeah, Japanese game."

Alex: "Oh yeah! Looks like you got a little bit of the backfist blues!"

Coworker: "If women were black and men were white, [Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka] would be grey."

Coworker: "Don't give in to tofu."

Coworker 1: "Like training wheels for your vegetables."
Coworker 2: "That's what ketchup is, dude."

Boss's sample copy: "Best tweeze ever."

Boss: "That's what I need, is somebody to bop on the head."
Casey: "That's what [coworker]'s here for."
Boss: "No, that's what I have you for. I bop you first. Until you became a motorcycle mama or whatever you did during lunch."