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Tyler: "There's no sign saying, 'No really big-ass sticks.'"

Tyler: "He's really not that bad. He does get angry, but he gives people cookies too, so that's okay."

Tyler: "It'd be like henna, only it'd be animal grease."

Casey: "When you leave, they start having hermaphroditic chicken sex."

Annie: "We're trite with an attitude."
Grant: "Oh, I think we have a new family crest!"

Alexa: "That's why you use things called... stuff."

Tyler: "People did get lost. That was good."

Jessie: "You're just like... what's-her-name."
Mom: "Who's what's-her-name?"
Jessie: "I don't know."

Mom: "It'll look fine, it'll look fine, and then all of a sudden, BOOM! It's crisper than hell."

Mom: "Chickens are more powerful now than they were 30 years ago."