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"If you're going to make my life hell, I don't care how good sex is, my life sucks!"

Tyler: "He's a nun?"

"That is going to be what is termed ugly. Big lumps of ugly. And it's going to get all over the place."

Darkstar Member: "A big wheel of cheese just rolled through this conversation."

Darkstar member: "No, not tied up like that! Go home! Go be merry someplace else!"

"3pm. Meet with crack dealer."

Casey: "In the middle ages, when people had conversations with unseen people, they called it demonic possession. 20 years ago, we called it schizophrenia. Now we just call it cell phones."

Tyler: "Wait a minute, this class is full of lumps of goo! I'm in the wrong class!"

Enid: "I know I sound like a chicken with my head cut off at the moment, but I am!"

"I'm not trying to disinvent the wheel."