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Professor Chamberlain: "'What, I wondered, was going on in his parietal and occipital lobes?' That's exactly what I was wondering!"

Professor Chamberlain: "I'm not slowing it down, am I? I'm just saying it loud."

Student: "Why do you always pick on me?"
Professor Chamberlain: "You invite picking."

Student: "I'm a big ball of frustration right now."

Professor Chamberlain: "You have a tenacious memory, unfortunately for me."

Professor Chamberlain: "It's so easy! Your computer could tell you. But that's because it was programmed. I'm trying to program you."

Professor Chamberlain: "Yeah, I'm not going to accuse Hemingway of breaking a grammar rule."

Professor Chamberlain: "Why would the jellyfish have a coat?"

Professor Chamberlain: "Probably no one ever said, 'Huh! I'm offended by the misuse of this participle.'"

Professor Sereno: "Songbirds don't really seem to be communicating, like 'There's a really good red Toyota on Hawk St. that we gotta go take a dump on!'"