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Professor Potts: "This is your chance to learn something you want to learn, even if you're forced to want to learn it because it was assigned to you."

Professor Potts: "The tiger could have done that! He was probably kicking himself, thinking, 'Jeez!'"

Professor Potts: "That's the regurgitation exercise -- an important part of your education at UCSD."

Professor Potts: "I wouldn't wish 2 1/2 hours of my lectures on anyone, no matter how entertaining I attempt to be."

Professor Potts: "The man who would later be Hannibal Lecter, playing C.S. Lewis."

Professor Potts: "Cosmopolitan used to be a literary magazine.... Now Cosmopolitan, as far as I can tell, is about cleavage."

Professor Potts: "Is that all seven? 1-2-3-4-5-6-7... there should be another one..."

Professor Potts: "Ever wonder why the word 'east' is in 'Easter'? No, of course not, why would you wonder that?"

Professor Potts: "Get a little pork chop with a heart-shaped frame around it."

Professor Potts: "So he has a knife cradled against his chest, a gun in his arm -- he's on his way to school!"