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Professor Grush: "Another mnemonic for you-- biconditional is the conditional that goes both ways."

Professor Grush: "I don't know how you feel about the war, but right now we're holding a pro-logic rally."

Professor Grush: "If you think about it too much, it can seem bizarre. My recommendation is don't think about it too much."

Professor Grush after a camera flash: "It's those Interpol bastards trying to track me down. Ever since France found out they couldn't extradite me..."

Professor Grush: "It's a long proof. It just requires patience and diligence. Neither of which I have."

Professor Chamberlain: "What's parallel? What's noun? What's adjective? What are you talking about?"

Professor Chamberlain: "You write all night like Kafka and in the morning you can't move your arm."

Professor Chamberlain: "Nobody's ever pulled you aside and said, 'You don't know how to use participles correctly.'"

Professor Chamberlain: "I think you've been -- may I say -- brainwashed by the 'to be' bashers."

Student 1: "Is E.B. White alive?"
Professor Chamberlain: "No, he's dead."
Student 2: "Thank God!"