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Professor Kirsh: "You have to read. Who wants to read? Nobody on the web wants to read, unless they go to a site to read."

Professor Kirsh: "Okay, are you beginning to see that it's good to be cranky?"

Professor Kirsh: "Bye, class... No one brought me an apple."

Professor Grush: "If there are any butts to be kissed, that's the direction the lips should be pointed."

Professor Grush: "You signed up for lecture 7, which sucks-- it's forcing you to miss Powerpuff Girls--"

Professor Grush: "Any questions on any of the stuff I've talked about? No? I'm so damn clear?"

Professor Grush: "If me occasionally using phrases like 'piss you off' pisses you off..."

Student yawns.
Professor Grush: "They have coffee that they sell. It's cheap, too. Like 50 cents if you bring your own cup."

Professor Grush after phone rings: "Uh-- if that's for me, tell 'em I'm in the middle of a logic lecture. And I'll get back to them."

Professor Grush: "Your breath will stink-- as my brother would say, 'Your breath will be hella tart.'"