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Panelist: "I like my washing machine. The rock by the creek is not handicapped accessible."

Tyler: "I was wondering if I could beat a druid in a duel. And the answer is- no, because the warlock comes up and kills me."

Ms. Emily Kay: "One of these across the dog -- I mean the coyote's nose. Don't tell him I called him that; he'll be all insulted."

Ms. Emily Kay: "Don't grab them [the scanners] by the cords and swing 'em around over your head or anything."

Tyler: "It's like a Monty Hall problem, where you die. And you don't get to change doors."

Tyler: "You sunk my druid!"

Dave: "Something popped out of his ass, and I think it was his head."

Tyler: "If you change my math one more time, you're getting 0% of a share. And I'm punching you in the face."

Alex: "I highly recommend it. It's a lot easier to move in."
Tyler: "What, slitting your throat?"

Tyler: "I yell at him."
Alex: "What do you yell?"
Tyler: "'Your mother smells like mayonnaise!'"