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Panelist discussing splitting pay for short stories: "We each got one half a cookie. Once."

Panelist: "You're weird. And coming from me, that's saying something."

Panelist: "If you have children that you do not want to learn new and interesting vocabulary you might want to extract them."

Panelist 1: "I'm wondering about spontaneous human combustion."
Panelist 2: "It's usually not as spontaneous as they'd like you to believe. Usually it's rehearsed."

Panelist: "I'm reading some of the secret ingredients and my head just exploded."

Panelist 1: "I have interns this year."
Panelist 2: "Knowing your writing, are these real people or creatures living in your intestines?"

Panelist: "This immediately becomes a dangerous threat because it's a threat to professional sports."

Panelist: "Endless amount of rich nebbishes who want second-hand Michael Jordan feet."

Panelist: "Now they have athlete's face. Their IQ goes way the fuck down, but they look great!"

Panelist: "Fortunately he has a Swiss army knife in his pocket and proceeds to peel off his scalp."