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Jessie: "We're supposed to have this all-powerful mage with us, but he just has Alzheimer's or something."
Rick: "I don't know. Maybe he's just a normal magic sword with delusions."

Rick: "Well you never know, maybe there's two Sorensons!"
Jessie: "One has a goatee."

Jessie: "We just went, 'Are you still a striker? Okay!'"

Rick: "He hasn't stabbed me yet. That's what I look for in a party member."

Amanda: "Do they have boyfriends?"
Brian: "Not that I know of."
Rick: "You have to hire Mexicans for that."

Jessie: "What's your loot situation like? Should we just leave or do you have anything nice?"

Jessie: "We don't like sand! This is a quest to defeat sand!"

Jessie: "I have a feeling this will greatly reduce the stealthiness of our group."
Brian: "Studliness?"

Casey: "He should be able to tell whether he's an elf or a half-elf."
Brian: "The other half is rakshasa."

Brian: "You versus me. You pick the place and the time. I'll be there, you trumped-up little butterknife."