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Tyler: "I was going to say, you should commission an artist to draw your character, but no. Never do that."

Jessie: "I knew it -- everything in this dungeon comes out of asses."

Rick: "I had the brand in my mouth. The only thing that comes out of my ass is locusts. Like nature intended."

Jessie: "Could you just throw up everything you've eaten in the past week? I'll give you five gold."

Rick: "You know who smells like dead chicken? (Points to self with thumbs) This guy."

Tyler: "There's no crocodile, but there's a suspiciously durable chicken."

Jessie: "I look like your husband, but I'm really his brother, who's been dead for 30 years."

Rick: "You are the comic relief in this campaign."

Jessie: "That guy is King of Rocks! Let's kill him, and then we can be King of Rocks!"

Jessie: "Do five sexy, naked crocodiles step out and dance?"