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Tyler: "You're bigger than them."
Jessie: "But they're pointier than I am!"

Jessie: "Isn't it odd? You can't just reach over and have some cheese."

Jessie: "Milk is good. Especially when it's orange juice."

Leilani: "Ouch! This thing pulled a hair off my nose!"

Damon: "You know how many starving kids in Indiana..."
Jeremiah: "Could have had sex with their sisters in the time it took me to eat that meal?"

Melanie: "Stop grabbing my ass!"
Jeremiah: "That's not your ass, that's your hip. THIS is your ass."

Melanie: "Stop grabbing my ass!"
Jeremiah: "Yeah, because your ass looks so much like a seatbelt. Y'know, small, hard, and plastic."

Jeremiah: "Sounds good! Squeeze it out of a cardboard tube and you're an astronaut!"

Jeremiah: "Love shuttles with nubile women between the ages of 16 and 21."
Damon: "Do they have dolphin heads?"
Jeremiah: "No, but they're naked!"

Jessie: "The people were funny, but there was a bunch of giant spiders nesting in their house."