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Mikey: "No, no, we have to play something high velocity. Let's play Minesweeper."

Wombat regarding tongue meat: "Do you know how long it takes a man to eat 3 pounds of meat?!"

Dr. Mussachia: "It's illegal to kill yourself. If you succeed, they're not going to throw you in prison."

Student: "I don't think a chimp should have legal rights because they can't pay taxes."

Dr. Mussachia: "If you go into math class and say, 'My opinion is that the square root of 25 is a ripe watermelon,' you're going to get that answer wrong!"

Dr. Mussachia: "Unfortunately, this is not Harvard University. Unfortunately for you, and unfortunately for me."

Dr. Mussachia: "Hypothetical sexual orgies"

Dr. Mussachia: "It's considerably more complex than the average person thinks. The average person doesn't think. That's our problem."

Dr. Freeman: "I can paint a damn billiard ball pink and it's still the same damn billiard ball."

Dr. Freeman: "[Euthyphro] thinks he's a pretty damn hot shit."