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Michael: "You're not going to beat me, you're a bro. Cause I'm a cheetah, and you're a bro."

Michael: "Oh, come on Steve! I hate you. Where are all your blocking moves now? I hope you die surfing."

Brian: "Get off me!"
Jessie: "No! You're so damn sexy! With your spiky red hair, like a backstreet boy! I must have you."

Brian: "ENRAGED BALD MAN!!"

Casey: "'The alignment page must print' my ass! Oh, wait, that probably wouldn't be a good idea."

Cathy regarding her resume: "They're not going to say, 'Oh, she made pretty bullets. We're going to hire her.'"

Tyler: "How can you touch the bear?"
Jessie: "You can't touch him. He's got cool sneakers."

Jessie: "He thinks Christie's fine. She's wearing a speedo. With ruffles. Ruffles have ridges."

Casey: "Rape in a box!"
Jessie: "That's what I got for Christmas!"

Jessie: "I'm gonna jump up into the air and fall over backwards. That's Law's special move."