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Professor Grush: "Are you kidding? She's dumber than a box of wet hammers."

Professor Grush: "Try to remain unfreaked as much as possible."

Professor Grush: "So if any grammarian says, 'that's wrong, that's wrong, that's wrong,' just commit an ad hominem abusive."

Professor Grush: "'Ruffles: America's best-selling chip.' BFD."

Professor Grush: "They don't pump the money into advertising. They don't have Michael Jackson or MC Hammer in their commercials. Cause you guys love the Hammer."

Professor Grush: "It's now your chance to put the smack down on me, in retaliation for me putting the smack on you all quarter."

Professor Grush: "Why does Grush say, on the phone, to Mama Grush, 'Your argument is covertly circular.'"

Professor Grush on the time he corrected his mother's logic: "I didn't get a Christmas present that year. But that's okay. Her presents suck."

Professor Grush's fallacy example: "My client is not a drug dealer. He is simply trying to provide for his family."

Professor Grush: "It's not the case that the only two options are: Speed Stick, stink."