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Tyler: "What did you do with the rest of the noncombatant kobolds?"
Rick: "Sold them into slavery. What alignment am I?"

Rick: "When the familiar drops to 0 hit points, it disappears and I have to spend 30 minutes casting a minor ritual to bring it back. 'I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...'"

Amanda: "I'm proficient in caving, or whatever."

Tyler: "What flavor is your dwarf?"
Rick: "Strawberry."

Jessie: "You turn into a giant tiger and fall over!"
Rick: "No, you do!"

Jessie: "You just feel like a four-year-old... No, you didn't hit me, I held up my magic chicken and you miss!"

Rick: "Oh, he's gonna take a consequence! Stubbed his toe! 'I survived the nuclear attack!'"

Tyler: "What does it do?"
Amanda: "It whacks his head off. Sorry! Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!"

Rick: "We're the van people. We're not with the yelling guys."

Jessie: "We're a whole group of problem-solvers! And by problem-solvers, I mean kidnappers."
Rick: "We find the problem, and we take it."