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Jessie: "Spider one, Amanda zero."

Jessie: "Nobody's ever happy when they win with rape."

Rick: "Did anyone else come up with rape?"

Tyler: "Unless the turkey paid rent..."

Tyler: "My nuts cannot be contained."

Brian: "A tortoise and a porpoise mate. Some weird dolphin shell thing."

Brian: "I got nowhere to go. Well, technically, I have a house."
Amanda: "It's a crappy house."

Jessie: "This is like the worst spinoff of The Metamorphosis ever!"
Tyler: "Or the best!"

Tyler: "I sing them a song."
Brian: "'You guys suck...'"

Tyler: "You know it's a successful mission when you get to eat your mentor."