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Rick: "This router routes like a motherfucker."

Rick: "Turn your cellphones off, douchebags."

Tyler: "Civilian casualties. Christopher Walken. That would be the best movie."

Jessie: "Who eats raw eggs?"
Brian, pounding his fist on the table: "Stallone!!"

Brian: "That's what I was torn between!"
Amanda: "Doin' it in the butt and Mexican food."

Brian: "As a minor action it flips you off with 8000 legs."
Tyler: "It speaks Goblin!"

Tyler: "I'm sorry; I can't hear you; I'm in a frog."

Rick: "You know, I've always been a little skepitcal of this Alaska. What are its intentions?"
Tyler: "It's just sitting up there, staring at us!"
Jessie: "It's right next to Canada. Is it talking to the Canadians?"
Amanda: "And you can see Russia from there!"

Brian: "Places to go on a date: airport lounge."
Everyone else: "No."
Brian: "I didn't say it was a good date."

Rick: "Things you save up to buy-- Avalanche. Like the truck."
Jessie: "Unless you're a mad scientist."