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Tyler: "If you were trying to sneak into this room-- but you're not."
Rick: "Oh! I am!"

Jessie: "Iniden was the only one who checked, because she was like, 'Wait, that's a hot babe. Wait, I didn't know I was a lesbian!'"

Jessie: "You should move forward."
Amanda: "But I could shoot it."

Brian: "Why are we just sneaking in and attacking?"
Rick: "I don't want to waste a surprise round!"

Tyler: "She looks angry that you zapped her. But in a hot way."

Rick: "Roll new character! Moses!"
Jessie: "He leads us to the promised land, though, so it was worth it. And he keeps talking about a burning bush, and it's like, 'Stop smoking that bush.'"

Jessie: "I have a trade agreement with the beetles. Every turn I give them cows, and they give me silk."
Rick: "Where are they going to get silk?"
Jessie: "They're beetles."
Rick: "Oh. What's my nature? 'Oh, that sounds right to me.'"

Tyler: "Galileo's Titanic Testicles. That sounds like a D&D spell you don't want to fail your saving throw against."

Brian: "I could put motor oil on a pizza."

Jessie: "Perpetual motion, my ass! Take that, science! I just proved you wrong!"