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Rick: "It's a pissing contest. 'My clock has seven hands!'"
Tyler: "This hand tracks how much your clock sucks!"

Tyler: "There's nothing under the couch. Not even dust."
Rick: "Just an endless void. That's why we put that there."

Tyler: "Somehow Kelso managed to steal all of the loot, despite being evil and nowhere near here."

Jessie: "I know exactly how those peasants feel. How they feel about each other, which ones used to date and now it's awkward..."

Brian: "I was just thinking that some of the silverware for these tea sets might find a new home."
Rick: "I don't think that will be much help in combat."

Rick: "Well you know large animals can often be used as mounts."
Amanda: "Keep that to yourself."
Rick: "Well, if you need a companion."

Rick: "The Will of the Weasel? That sounds like a cheesy novel."

Jessie: "Don't listen to him-- he's the devil on your shoulder, telling you to open his weasel cage."
Rick: "His weasel cage made out of weasels."

Rick: "Strap a weasel to each foot and have it fly you out of the pit."

Tyler: "Of course you have leather straps. Unless it's inconvenient. Like when you're being grabbed."
Brian: "Then my armor's slick. I grease it up every morning. Morning ritual."