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Ian: "I think we're gonna smite you in the name of... Moradin!"

Rick: "I have no idea what this does, but I'm grabbing it."

Rick: "It would suck evil mist out of the atmosphere and emit a spring-fresh scent."

Rick: "He's multiclassing into Piggy Bank."

Ian: "I have a bag at home with one thousand pennies in it."
Casey: "Do you hit people with it?"
Ian: "No."
Casey: "Why not?"
Rick: "That's what the bag of doorknobs is for."

Tyler: "Never underestimate the capacity of halfling pockets."

Casey: "Transformers -- couches in disguise."

Tyler: "What kind of signal?"
Rick: "It's like a bee in me codpiece!"

Amanda: "You can like, take parts of yourself and make a nice pasta sauce."
Ian: "Three is not on the menu!"

Tyler: "Shop at Naked Chicks R Us!"
Rick: "For all your naked chick needs. 'Do you need clothes?'"