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Professor Green: "You know, I have a lot of sick leave accumulated. 38 years' worth! I could miss a whole quarter and no one would notice!"

Professor Green: "Everything I draw looks flat. I think I was Egyptian in my past life."

Professor Green: "And sometimes you die. This time I didn't."

Professor Green: "They don't give a flying hoot..."

Professor Green: "The Golgi apparatus is like a traffic cop."

Professor Green: "Some of you have class. That's a poor excuse! It's a nice day! You shouldn't be going to class."

Professor Green: "Here's light -- it's going along... nyoomm... like a bat out of hell... and then you square it!"

Professor Green: "You don't get energy by thinking about it."

Professor Green: "5th in my series of ramblings one night over a bottle of Scotch..."

Professor Green: "You want me to tell you what to eat? Don't eat what I eat."