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Professor Green: "So if anyone asks you, 'Hey, is it important to be diploid?' You can say, 'You're darn tootin'.'"

Professor Green: "And try to convey what they were thinking, if anything."

Professor Green: "Now cancer does not occur in bacteria. I'm not that stupid."

Professor Green: "It's the story of my life! Do you have to leave? She doesn't care that the lambda phage is my best friend!"

Professor Green: "I took French for 2 weeks and this is what I learned: (very thick French accent) Now I can speak French."

Professor Green: "I was working on integration long before the NAACP."

Professor Green: "Now these guys were microbiologists, you know, little biologists"

Professor Green: "It's like someone is sitting on you, preventing someone else from getting at you. That's a bad example."

Professor Green: "It's as plain as the blood on your finger."

Professor Green: "I'm going to give equal time to Creationism. Pretend we're in Kansas!"