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Professor Chamberlain: "If you say, 'I saw you with my eyes,' I do not mean you were going somewhere with my eyes."

Jessie: "Kind of like that. Except everybody has nuclear weapons."

Commercial: "And you don't have to worry about the shakiness and side effects of other weight loss programs, because Carbogenics is all natural!"

Mom: "Mind your own BYOB!"

Mom: "We don't agree eye to eye."

Casey: "It's a place to live. With a good climate."
Leilani: "So are most loony bins."

Tyler pretending to be a goldfish: "Hey, look, it's a new tank!"

Ahmad: "I would sleep with that meat!"

Mikey: "My desire for meat has overwhelmed me."

Mikey: "I didn't start reading until I was in 10th grade."
Casey: "Ever?"
Mikey: "No, I was reading before then."