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Tyler: "So the answer to how it's lubricated is 'money.'"

Grant: "Tastes just like chickensnake."

Grant: "Al is the kind of guy that if the two of you fell of a cliff, on the way down he'd be telling you how hard it was on him."

Kate: "I would never know if anything was wrong with Grant except I see it in his face."
Grant: "Yeah, my face looks wrong all the time."

Grant: "I am a cooking show."

Gay: "You gotta be clever to outsmart a dog."

Kate: "Did you bring the spinach?"
Casey: "Yes."
Kate: "What are you making?"
Casey: "Spinach."

Kate: "Do you think he could use your help getting into the car?"
Grant: "No. If he had wanted us there, he would have demanded it."

Tyler: "That's the problem with setting a cheese shop on fire: it just smells delicious."

Mom: "Women are spewing out human beings."