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Panelist: "I thought we were gonna talk about dick jokes. This is all serious."

Panelist: "I heartily approve of the right to ridicule."

Panelist: "This country's progression has been about offending."

Panelist: "I am a world expert on being a tourist in New Zealand for two weeks."

Panelist 1: "I prefer my classics done that way."
Panelist 2: "What way?"
Panelist 1: "On television."

Panelist: "Well, he didn't look so bad in tights, although you didn't have the proper hormonal bias."

Panelist: "Most everyone can look at Bella and go, 'I'm smarter than she is!' She's like the ultimate nebbish!"

Panelist: "Early science fiction had very few women except those that screamed a lot and went for coffee."

Panelist: "Plot complication! Warning, there's a plot complication!"

Panelist: "I could be doing something better. I could be reading a good book."