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Arthur, to Ann: "I'm not going to come to your house anymore when I'm bigger. I'm going to baseball. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday. When my penis is big like Daddy's."

Tyler playing Salt and Sanctuary: "I'm a chef and I'm hitting things with a pot. The only way it could be better is if there were cards for it."

Orion: "Flag!"
Arthur: "That's a Captain America flag, Orion."

Arthur: "I like making you say, 'Oof.'"

Ann: "Have you ever been to a laundromat?"
Arthur: "No, but I've been to Fuddruckers. They have lots of machines you put money in."

Ray: "Do you know what makes things fall down?"
Arthur: "Slides?"

Casey, to Arthur: "Don't sweelie the pile!"

Professor Booth: "If they will inspect your underwear, please inspect your project."

Professor Booth: "I don't grade spelling. I'm an artist. I'm a very creative speller."

Professor Booth: "If I let people just slide by, it's kind of a reflection on me. Like, 'How the fuck did you graduate?'"