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Panelist 1: "He's obviously not thinking like a Martian, because we don't know how Martians think."
Panelist 2: "Speak for yourself."

Panelist: "We embrace biological and nonbiological diversity."

Panelist: "The White Witch was at least keeping the postal service going. You might get turned to stone occasionally, but at least you go the mail."

Panelist: "I'm ripping the legs off your cow, and sewing chicken legs to it."

Panelist: "I think Shakespeare had a different philosophy in mind than Dianetics."

Darkstar member 1: "What are we going to do tonight, Jesus?"
Darkstar member 2: "Same thing we do every night, Satan. Try to take over the world."

Travis: "The question is, how is a deaf-blind person using a computer?"
Jack: "Braille."
Casey: "What are they using it for?"
Wombat: "Porn."

"That's why they call it work. If they called it fucking, everybody'd be doing it."

Dad: "Oh, that's me [in the drawing]. Why do I have boobs?"
Jessie: "That's your arm."
Tyler: "A common mistake."

They Might Be Giants: "Thank you for your enthusiastic bellowing."