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Teacher: "Too much? You guys good? Who's gonna drop the class? You won't hurt my feelings."

Teacher: "I'm not doing this to see whether I can get you guys to do it."

Teacher: "It has more filler than it has pigment. You can smell it. It smells like--something."

Teacher: "People lie. It's human nature."

Ian: "Wow, that is the best QQ noise I have ever heard."

Niko: "Maybe we should give it to one of his people, in one of his temples."
Rick: "No, that's a bad idea. We're always getting attacked."
Tyler: "Yeah, Temples of Bahamut are designed like bullseyes. 'We wear armor so you don't have to!"

Ian: "I shut the door and hold it shut, like, 'The void is coming to devour me! The void is coming to devour me!'"
Tyler: "How long are you going to wait before opening the door?"
Ian: "Like, a year."

Ian: "We get in the carriage and tell Hod to hoof it, before something else weird happens. Like it starts raining... bunnies or something. Bunnies with swan heads. Stripper bunnies with swan heads."

Tyler: "Undead love clerics."
Ian: "Well, clerics love undead. We want some of that undead booty."

Tyler: "Ten kinds of wrong, and it's all my fault."