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Tyler: "I was a dwarf but I got better."

Jessie: "I mean, they could also be really complicated masturbation devices."

Rick: "I will lead the way, with my shaft."
Tyler: "We will stay far away from your shaft."

Rick: "It could be worse."
Tyler: "That's your battle cry."

Jessie: "Emo teenage squid."

Jessie: "You guys hitched a ride on the now totally friendly squid."

Brian: "I ask him if he knows of any potential sources of jerks on the island."

Brian: "Are there any volcanoes on the island?"
Jessie: "No."
Brian: "Darn. That would have been easy."
Tyler: "We just throw people into the volcano until it fixes itself."

Rick: "You like women and gold? No way!"

Tyler: "He's got little glowy blue eyes, but they're just painted on."